Breaking Brad: Have you seen Bigfoot? - Omaha.com
Published Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 10:32 am / Updated at 2:33 pm
Breaking Brad: Have you seen Bigfoot?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* An eastbound lane of Dodge Street is closed for 10 days. According to Omaha city traffic engineers, the lane will be closed “just for the heck of it. We had five unused traffic cones laying around and decided to put them to use.”

* A teenager claims to have spotted a 7-foot tall, hairy, fast creature near the Platte River in Saunders County in late July that is being investigated as a possible Bigfoot sighting. To fit in near the Platte River, Big Foot was driving an air boat.

* The creature was described as 7 feet tall and fast. When Game and Parks Commission officers arrived on the scene, Tim Miles and Greg McDermott were already there.

* For those keeping track: There has been one more sighting of Sasquatch in Nebraska than of President Obama.

* The big, hairy creature was on a country road. The list of worries for Nebraska drivers now reads: potholes, snow, ice, road construction, detours, tailgaters and Sasquatch.

* Warren Buffett's granddaughter was married at Lauritzen Gardens and serenaded by U2's Bono. I wouldn't say Bono seems enamored of a certain billionaire, but the next U2 album will feature a 12-minute ukulele solo of Buffett playing “Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey.”

* Three bike rental stands are now available in downtown Omaha. The city is actually slow to catch on to the bicycle commuting craze and is urgently consulting with experts to determine the best methods for towing a bicycle.

* Four golf carts were stolen from a par-3 course in Omaha. Here's one police chase I wouldn't mind seeing.

* Two Husker football season tickets were stolen in the mail from a 25-year season ticket holder from Omaha. It's just a shame this had to happen to a newbie.

* Already this football season, there's been a major botched NFL call, a Ndamukong Duh probable dirty play and an awkward Brent Musburger interview. We usually have to wait until Week 2 to see all this stuff.

* President Obama appeared on six different networks to promote his Syria agenda. Six. The publicity blitz was so great, Obama asked Carrie Underwood if she'd consider making her Sunday Night Football debut song a duet.

* On Monday night, President Obama granted interviews to Fox News, NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN and PBS. PBS? If Obama wanted to get his message out to Americans, he should have appeared in a YouTube funny cat video.

* But not MSNBC, because you gotta draw the line somewhere.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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