Breaking Brad: In which a London man spots a fox under the sheets - Omaha.com
Published Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 2:03 pm / Updated at 10:54 am
Breaking Brad: In which a London man spots a fox under the sheets

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

* * * * * * * * * *

Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* Native American groups are now demanding that the Washington Redskins change their name just because they stunk so bad on Monday night.

* The new, next-generation Apple iPhone debuted on Tuesday. Apple is promising that, this time, the next generation phones won't be replaced by a superior product until a week from Thursday.

* Harry Reid delayed a Senate "test vote" on Syria. Don't things move slow enough through the current Congress without having test votes?

* Syrian President Bashar Assad was interviewed by Charlie Rose. There was a rare opportunity for a joint interview with President Obama, if only Obama didn't have prior commitments to appear on "The Talk," "Rachael Ray," "Leno," "Fallon" and "Wheel of Fortune."

* On Tuesday night, President Obama will address the nation on the crisis in Syria. Polls show the American people and Congress are both against strikes. I don't know what's scarier -- the prospect of U.S. intervention in Syria, or the fact that the people now agree with Congress.

* A dumb play at the end of the game by the Buccaneers allowed the New York Jets to defeat Tampa Bay. That's a new low -- when you out-stupid the Jets.

* AOL Sports referred to Ndamukong Suh as the dirtiest player in the league. Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito, also a former Husker, is demanding a recount.

* The New York City mayoral primary is Tuesday. All the candidates are trying to prove they're a real New Yorker. To prove he's a real New Yorker, one candidate cursed, spit on the sidewalk and then rode a giant rat to the polls.

* At the new Jodi Arias trial, jurors may be sequestered and allowed to read newspapers with all the articles about Jodi Arias cut out. Where can I get a newspaper like that?

* A man in London awoke to nuzzling of his neck, assumed it was his girlfriend, reached over to snuggle and discovered a fox in his bed. That is unbelievable. I mean, the part about a man wanting to snuggle.

* Honda is going to feature built-in vacuum cleaners in its minivans. It's bad enough motorists are texting behind the wheel; now, they could be vacuuming.

* A UFO was recently spotted over Great Britain. Now, there's an explanation. The unidentified object that nobody in Britain recognized? The sun.

* Scientists have succeeded in growing the first “mini human brains” in a laboratory. Per contractual agreement, the first mini brain went to Miley Cyrus' choreographer.

* Scientists are now able to grow mini human brains in a lab dish. This should insure we have plenty of reality TV contestants for years to come.

* A “parachuting dog” has joined an elite anti-terrorism team in Colombia. I saw a skydiving dog and assumed it was the halftime show at a Baylor game.

* After giving up 550 yards rushing to BYU, Texas replaced its defensive coordinator. In the state of Texas, this is sort of like impeaching a governor, only bigger.

* An MMA fighter was knocked out 4 seconds after the match began. This is why MMA has grown in popularity compared to baseball, football and basketball -- no parity.

Also from Brad: Have you seen Bigfoot?

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Video: Stothert says Crossroads project is 'full speed ahead,' but she won't support bond issue
Agreement reached to end dog racing at Bluffs Run at end of 2015
Beau McCoy calls Pete Ricketts a 'convenient conservative' for immigration stance
Kelly: Huskers' glory days of '80s live on — on the small screen and on stage
Police ID body found near 36th, Seward Streets
World champion Crawford's promoter working to have title defense at CenturyLink Center
Hail, strong winds, heavy rain hit south-central Nebraska
'Fairly old' human skull found in Mills County
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
Omaha crash victim, 19, had touched many lives
Firefighters take on 'fully engulfed barn fire'
Council Bluffs school board approves new district headquarters
Officials announce effort to lure more veterans to Nebraska
SB 132nd Street lane closed
Shane Osborn grabs several endorsements
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Omaha area may get 1 inch of rain tonight
Gov. Heineman vetoes bill to ease restrictions on nurse practitioners
Nebraska banking and finance director to retire
Waitress who served alcohol to teen before fatal crash gets jail time, probation
Owners of exotic dance bar deny prostitution allegations
More Nebraskans are electing to vote early
A day after Ricketts endorsement, Ted Cruz backs Sasse for Senate
Some city streets remain closed
< >
COLUMNISTS »
Kelly: Huskers' glory days of '80s live on — on the small screen and on stage
The 1984 NFL draft was unusual for the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and these days it's remembered in the name of a rock band, the 1984 Draft. Tonight, the band will be featured nationally on the NFL Network in a documentary about — what else? — the 1984 draft.
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
The idea that Paul Hogan had studied and then hatched at his mother's table was that older people, rather than moving in with relatives or to an assisted-living center, would much prefer to stay home instead.
Breaking Brad: Nebraska GOP candidates unified against naked squirrels
Some of these Nebraska campaigns are tilting pretty far right. At a recent forum, there was a consensus that we need to ban public dancing and clothe naked squirrels in public parks.
Breaking Brad: Inside the mind of a 99-year-old real estate agent
I saw an article about a 99-year-old real estate agent who's still working. “This house is extra special. It has indoor toilets!”
Breaking Brad: Into the claw machine! Florida kid follows Lincoln kid's lead
In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., a child climbed inside a claw machine. Hey, Florida kid: Nobody likes a copycat.
Deadline Deal thumbnail
7M Grill
Half Off Delicious Comfort Fusion Food & Drinks!
Buy Now
PHOTO GALLERIES »
< >
SPOTLIGHT »
Omaha World-Herald Contests
Enter for a chance to win great prizes.
OWH Store: Buy photos, books and articles
Buy photos, books and articles
Travel Snaps Photo
Going on Vacation? Take the Omaha World-Herald with you and you could the next Travel Snaps winner.
Click here to donate to Goodfellows
The 2011 Goodfellows fund drive provided holiday meals to nearly 5,000 families and their children, and raised more than $500,000 to help families in crisis year round.
WORLD-HERALD ALERTS »
Want to get World-Herald stories sent directly to your home or work computer? Sign up for Omaha.com's News Alerts and you will receive e-mails with the day's top stories.
Can't find what you need? Click here for site map »