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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* Omaha's Cox Classic golf tournament is under way. It's not a traditional professional golf tourney; the Cox Classic is more like a Beer Fest with putting.
* Latrobe, Pa., is preparing for three days of festivities to honor the banana split. I'd make fun of this if I didn't live in a city that hosted roughly half a dozen summer Bacon Fests.
* Abercrombie & Fitch's year-over-year net income fell 33 percent in the second quarter. The Abercrombie & Fitch models now have a reason to look petulant in every ad.
* President Obama's on another bus trip. Due to federal cutbacks, at the top of every hill, the bus will be placed in neutral and coast down.
* "Gilligan's Island" is coming to Me-TV. For you younger viewers, picture a season of "Survivor," only nobody ever leaves the island.
* A 67-year-old great-grandmother has accused San Diego Mayor Bob Filner of sexual harassment. I long for a simpler time where all our seniors had to fear from our politicians were threats to cut their Social Security.
* Europe's longest recession ever has officially ended. Inevitably when a recession ends, there’s inflation. This means instead of $200 for a 5-by-6-ft., bathroom-less hotel room, American travelers to Europe will be paying $250.
* According to a new study, wearing flip flops can be a health hazard. Thank goodness Obamacare has that $89 billion “flip-flop provision.”
* NBA star Kevin Durant is engaged to WNBA star Monica Wright. The medical world is bracing for the first 8-foot baby.
* A trainer now claims that before Michael Jordan's "Flu Game" in which he scored 38 points, he actually ate bad pizza. People in Chicago scoffed and said: “As if there is such a thing.”
* An Atlanta Braves bat boy had to remove a living, winged bat from the field. This kid had to remove a live bat. I think I finally found someone on a major league field who’s not overpaid.
* Western Michigan football coaches claim to have walked over fire to prove their toughness. Of course they’ll look pretty stupid that first game, sitting on the bench with their feet in a bucket of Gatorade.