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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here for his morning jokes.
* Weekly jobless claims have dropped to a five-and-a-half-year low. This is mostly due to the 200,000 new jobs created for ABC cameramen to cover the royal baby.
* The first Beer and Bacon Festival is this weekend at the Old Mattress Factory. Considering the popularity of beer and bacon in Omaha, this thing should outdraw the College World Series.
* It's beer and bacon all day long. Joey Chestnut asks, "Are you sure that's healthy?"
* George Zimmerman was stopped for speeding in Texas. So he had to be going over 130.
* On "Live With Kelly & Michael," Matt Damon raved about the Husker program. On a day when Bo Pelini made the rounds of 27 ESPN shows (my rough estimate), Damon steals the show talking to Kelly Ripa.
* A man in Texas received a monthly water bill for over $66k. MUD officials said, "Records were made to be broken."
* There is a new YouTube video of a bride and groom that tried to enter their wedding on zip lines but got stuck. This is the first wedding I was ever sorry I wasn't invited to.
* Friday is Husker Fan Day. Or, as Bo Pelini calls it, "the one day worse than when I got my wisdom teeth pulled."
* PETA is demanding that the Tampa Bay Rays remove the fish tank from their stadium. Fish need to be in a quiet, isolated area with very few people ... say, Marlins Park.
* A beer festival in England featured 30 different kinds of beer. Or, as that's called in these parts, "RAGBRAI."
* The NFL has banned purses from stadiums. For those wishing to purchase concession food items or NFL memorabilia, the league suggests you push a wheelbarrow containing $100 bills into the game.
* The America's Cup has started. This is the second largest gathering of billionaires in sports, right after a meeting of New York Yankees on the disabled list.
* New sports agent Jay Z disses Scott Boras in a new song. Suddenly, 88-year-old MLB owners are going: "I gotta check out that rap music. It doesn't sound all that bad."