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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here for Brad's morning jokes.
* A woman who may have been part of a bachelorette party posed in a skimpy skirt inside an Omaha fire station. I think I speak for most Omahans when I say: If it can lower my property taxes, I'm in favor of renting fire stations out for bachelorette parties.
* An anonymous person emailed the photo to the mayor's hotline. It's unclear at this point if Chief of Staff Marty Bilek then fired a warning shot or that was the mayor's head exploding in rage.
* Nicholas Street from 11th to 16th streets was scheduled to be closed for roadwork Tuesday, but was postponed until Wednesday. Obviously it was delayed because all the city's 11 million orange traffic cones are currently in use.
* President Obama met with celebrities who may be promoting Obamacare. I think it tends to hurt the credibility of a health care plan when the same people promoting it later turn up hawking Carnival cruises and time shares in Tennessee.
* The royal baby is only 24 hours old, and I'm already sick of him.
* Kanye West, Jay Z and Stevie Wonder are all boycotting Florida over the Zimmerman trial. The good news: Thursday's "Weird Al" Yankovic concert in Omaha will go on as scheduled.
* Twin baby pandas wee just born at the zoo in Atlanta. Talk about a blow to British pride. All the American reporters covering the royal baby birth fled the hospital to rush to the Atlanta zoo.
* DNA suggests that American dogs had their origin in Asia. Tea party members immediately began picketing Humane Societies and calling for deporting the illegals.
* There is online video of a man "Hula-hopping" a 100-pound tractor tire. So it sounds like the entertainment center stage at the Louisiana State Fair is in full gear.
* Husker football Fan Day is Aug. 2. Husker publicists are bracing for the ultimate nightmare -- the line in front of Matt Damon's nephew being longer than the line in front of Taylor Martinez.
* The Husker football team will open the season with two night games on the Big Ten Network. That's the new strategy -- put the Huskers on TV at night when it's harder for lip readers to determine which curse words Bo Pelini is using.
* It's reported that Johnny Manziel tweeted he can't wait to leave College Station because he got an undeserved parking ticket. If everyone who got an undeserved parking ticket left Omaha, the population would be 172.
* Manziel wanted out of College Station because of an unfair parking ticket. This means Jay Cutler could soon be challenged for the NFL lead in whining.
* Snoop Lion sent his support for Aaron Hernandez. Hernandez said, "Well, that's one."
* Great Britain's Chris Froome won the 100th Tour de France. How frustrating would that be? To win the historic 100th Tour de France and have the article buried on page 43 of the British newspapers under all the stories about the royal baby?
* A dog nearly caused a crash at the Tour De France after wandering onto the road. I cannot confirm Lance Armstrong was just off the road whispering, "here boy, here boy."