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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here for Brad's morning jokes.
* Are you beginning to get the feeling the royal baby caught a peek at the royal family and said: "Uh-oh. I'm not going out there."
* Millard West football star Harrison Phillips announced on Twitter that he chose Stanford over NU and Kansas State. It's bad enough that Bo Pelini lost out, but he had to go on Twitter to find out.
* During a White House visit Monday, George H.W. Bush presented President Obama a pair of socks. Is this the ultimate subtle insult? "With the economy in its present condition, all I can afford is this pair of socks, Mr. President."
* On Tuesday, President Obama was interviewed by Spanish-language stations from New York, Los Angeles, Dallas and Denver. This comes after Obama had an epiphany and realized he'd already been interviewed by every English-language talk show at least 20 times.
* Panama has seized a North Korean ship. It was so far off course, at first, Panamanian officials assumed the vessel was a Carnival cruise liner.
* Southwest Airlines passengers can now pay $40 to board first. This is awful. The only form of democracy left in this country under President Obama was the Southwest boarding policy, and now that's gone.
* People magazine has an article about appropriate gifts for the royal baby. I plan to send over an Egg Genie.
* Justin Bieber said he wants kids at a young age. Now, North West Kardashian will have someone to go to therapy with.
* NBA star Kevin Durant is engaged to Monica Wright, a WNBA star. I can picture that first ultrasound showing the baby making a layup.
* There is a popular online video of a man trying to hit a pinata in which he swings, misses and falls flat on his face. The Miami Marlins promptly offered him a job as batting coach.
* On his ninth-ever tweet, Alex Rodriguez posted something that got him in trouble. If you're familiar with A-Rod's career and with Twitter, I think the big question is, what took so long?
* The America's Cup is under way in San Francisco. With the new frugality, this year, all the competitors are driving air boats.
* Shortly after he was released by the Lakers, the Knicks agreed to terms with Metta World Peace. Considering that World Peace is a divisive, controversial lightning rod with a weird name, so long as he's in town, the Jets will also give him a tryout.
* In Sandy, Utah, the U.S. men's soccer team defeated Cuba, 4-1. This was all the more impressive because, with the restrictive laws and curfews in Utah, Cuba essentially had home-field advantage.