Breaking Brad: Surprise entry on OWH's Husker Camp Countdown -
Published Monday, July 15, 2013 at 1:00 pm / Updated at 3:45 pm
Breaking Brad: Surprise entry on OWH's Husker Camp Countdown

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here for Brad's morning jokes.

* The U.S. Senior Open drew the largest crowd to watch a sporting event in Omaha. Normally when you see that many people in Omaha, they're lining up to listen to Charlie Munger or buy firecrackers.

* Carly Rae Jepsen of "Call Me Maybe" fame threw out the worst ceremonial first pitch of the season before a Major League Baseball game. She needs to stick to sing ... no, scratch that, too.

* "The Lone Ranger" may be on track to lose $150 million for Disney. To get the money back, it will soon cost $987 for a family of four to get into Disney World.

* This week, some low-level IRS employees will be testifying before Congress. Americans will be glued to their TV sets hoping to see the guy who audited them a few years ago.

* According to a study, the human race may become extinct soon. It's pretty obvious this is due to people refusing to reproduce because they don't want their offspring to have to sit through "Grown Ups III."

* The World-Herald continues to count down 50 Husker players to watch. We're down to No. 19 – Matt Damon's nephew.

* Edward Snowden held a press conference in the Moscow airport over the weekend. I'm beginning to feel that Snowden enjoys the limelight. The subject of the presser was: “How I feel about the George Zimmerman verdict.”

* The entire George Zimmerman jury in Florida consisted of six people. It looked like the crowd at a Marlins game.

* Elisabeth Hasselbeck is joining “Fox & Friends.” The other “Fox & Friends” hosts say they look forward to the challenge of trying to get a word in edgewise.

* The CEO of Barnes and Noble is out. His retirement gift? Over 2 million unsold Barnes and Noble Nooks.

* A San Diego judge ruled it's legal to teach yoga in public schools. If this works out, California public schools may experiment with teaching kids history and science.

* The key to living to 150? A chemical found in red wine and chocolate. So not only will we live to 150, but we'll have fun doing so.

* In advertising news, the E-Trade talking baby from commercials is reportedly out. After being told he was fired he said, “What @#$%. I've been busting my @#% and they treat me like the Men's Wearhouse guy?”

* KIA may be coming out with a sports car targeted at young, single men. This is obviously an attempt at controlling world population.

* A Major League Baseball umpire named Brian Runge has become the first ump fired for failing a drug test. I don't know what drug the MLB ump was using, but based on the calls this summer we can rule out that new smart pill.

* Even though the umpire has been kicked out of baseball, the other umpires called him safe.

* Johnny Manziel left the Manning Passing Academy early. I'm guessing this is because they refused to change the name to the Manziel Passing Academy.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Cause of Omaha power outage along Regency Parkway unclear
Easter Sunday temperatures climb into 80s in Omaha area
Omaha police investigate two nonfatal shootings
City Council to vote on adding Bluffs pedestrian safety lights
Sole big donor to Beau McCoy says he expects nothing in return
Convicted killer Nikko Jenkins might await his sentence in prison
Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
Midlands runners ready for Boston Marathon
Families from area shelters treated to meal at Old Chicago
Firefighters battle brush fire near Fontenelle Forest
Sioux City riverboat casino prepares to close, still hoping to be saved
Omaha high schoolers to help canvass for Heartland 2050
Mizzou alumni aim to attract veterinary students to Henry Doorly Zoo
Grant ensures that Sioux City can start building children's museum
Party looks to 'nudge' women into public office in Iowa
For birthday, Brownell-Talbot student opts to give, not get
Two taken to hospital after fire at Benson home
Grace: Pipe organ concert a tribute to couple's enduring love
Omaha-area jails and ERs new front line in battling mental illness
Civil rights hearing to consider voting policies in Midwest
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
It's a pursuit of pastel at Spring Lake Park's Easter egg hunt
Financial picture improving for city-owned Mid-America Center
No injuries after fire at midtown's old Mercer Mansion
29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
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The main speaker at today's Ivy Day celebration at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is a college president who grew up roping calves and earned her Ph.D. at the prestigious Oxford University in England.
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Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
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