Breaking Brad: This weekend only, a 'birdie tax' in Douglas County -
Published Friday, July 12, 2013 at 10:17 am / Updated at 12:43 pm
Breaking Brad: This weekend only, a 'birdie tax' in Douglas County

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* The U.S. Senior Open is under way. You can tell big-time pro golf is new to Omaha. One of the galleries was batting around a beach ball.

* Bad news for competitors at the U.S. Senior Open. The Douglas County Board of Commissioners just introduced a "Birdie Tax."

* The greens at Omaha Country Club appear to be fast. I'm basing that mostly on the two putts that ended up in Waverly.

* Because it's Omaha, there is a beer garden on the eleventh tee.

* I love the U.S. Senior Open. It's refreshing to see athletes who aren't all on Twitter.

* Fans at the U.S. Senior Open have been quiet, reserved and respectful. Or, as that's known in town: "An anti-Lancers game."

* The Omaha City Council has joined Mayor Stothert is backing a $6-million pledge toward UNO's new sports arena. That's the good news for UNO. The bad news? The only way this city is coming up with an extra $6 million is winning the Powerball lottery.

* Actually, because it's a UNO building, the total cost is $6,000,002, including the parking facilities.

* I thought I heard some late fireworks in Omaha on Friday morning. Turns out it was actually a movie critic's head exploding while sitting through "Grown Ups II."

* More information is coming out about the Kids' State Dinner at the White House on Tuesday. Apparently, President Obama and the kids bonded after realizing they both get the same amount of vacation days during the summer.

* Donald Trump is coming to Iowa to deliver a speech. I personally can't wait to see what Trump's hair looks like in 90-percent humidity.

* According to an informal poll, many find fake spray-on tans are a turnoff. I tell you, the bad news doesn't stop for John Boehner.

* At the University of Santa Cruz, an expert recorded a sea lion bobbing its head to "Boogie Wonderland," which is a huge breakthrough. Up until now, scientists did not realize animals have horrible taste in music.

* An Arizona teenager claims he found a worm in his sausage McMuffin. I'm trying to confirm the worm said: "You're eating this for breakfast? Blecch."

* It's warming up. I was sweating like Alfonzo Dennard having to explain to Bill Belichick that I'm in trouble again.

* Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen took their kids to Disneyland. Someone asked Brady if he wanted to see Grumpy and Snow White. His response: "Belichick and Tebow are here?"

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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