Breaking Brad: In which the Lakers tell Metta to 'peace out' -
Published Friday, July 12, 2013 at 12:51 pm / Updated at 1:13 pm
Breaking Brad: In which the Lakers tell Metta to 'peace out'

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

* * * * * * * * * *

Brad's afternoon edition. Click here for Brad's morning jokes.

* The new movie "Grown Ups 2: What's The Point Again?" opened Thursday evening.

* A critic for USA Today wrote that "Grown Ups 2" is "lowbrow, laugh-free [and] plotless." Other than that, she enjoyed it.

* The reviews for "Grown Ups 2" have not been kind. I've read warmer manifestos.

* Gas prices are spiking. In Douglas County, gasoline prices are going up almost as fast as property taxes.

* Edward Snowden claims Skype gave customer information to the government. This means that birthday video chat you had with your sister in Florida, where you both donned the party hats and blew into noisemakers, could be in the hands of the feds.

* In Florida, a search is under way for a supposed "skunk ape." Apparently the skunk ape is a registered voter and has served on three Florida juries.

* The skunk ape is either real or a misidentified person. I tell you, if photos of a human have been splashed all over the news and identified as a "skunk ape," someone is going to be owed one big apology.

* If the skunk ape turns out to be human, sounds like somebody needs to shave his back hair.

* AT&T has angered customers with its new 61-cent "mobility administrative fee." OPPD executives told AT&T: "You're good. Really good."

* The Douglas County Board of Commissioners asked, "Any way we can charge taxpayers some sort of mobility fee?"

* On Thursday, Bo Pelini threw out the first pitch before a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field. This means that Bob Gibson now has only the second most menacing stare of anyone to ever take the mound.

* Because it's Pelini, everyone was bracing for the first "ceremonial pitch brush-back."

* UFO sightings have doubled over Canada. Imagine beings from another world landing outdoors in Canada during the Stanley Cup Finals and reporting to the mother planet that Earth is uninhabited?

* The Lakers have released Metta World Peace via the amnesty clause. If The World-Herald headline writers haven't come up with anything suitable for Saturday's paper, I'd like to suggest "Peace Out."

Also from Brad: This weekend only, a 'birdie tax' in Douglas County

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Crack ring's leaders join others in prison as a result of Operation Purple Haze
A voice of experience: Ex-gang member helps lead fight against Omaha violence
Church is pressing its case for old Temple Israel site
OPPD board holding public forum, open house May 7
Intoxicated man with pellet gun climbs billboard's scaffold; is arrested
Saturday forecast opens window for gardening; Easter egg hunts look iffy on Sunday
Last day of 2014 Legislature: Praise, passage of a last few bills and more on mountain lions
The thrill of the skill: Omaha hosts statewide contest for students of the trades
'The war is not over,' Chambers says, but legislative session about is
A recap of what got done — and what didn't — in the 2014 legislative session
PAC funded by Senate candidate Ben Sasse's great-uncle releases Shane Osborn attack ad
Teen killed at Gallagher Park was shot in head as he sat in SUV, friend who was wounded says
When judge asks, Nikko Jenkins says ‘I killed them’
New UNO center strengthens ties between campus, community
Threat found in Millard West bathroom deemed 'not credible'
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
Nebrasks health officials to advertise jobs via drive-thru
Coral Walker named Omaha police officer of the year
Sarah Palin, Mike Lee coming to Nebraska for Ben Sasse rally
Prescription drug drop-off is April 26
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Rather than doing $250K in repairs, owner who lives in lot behind 94-year-old house in Dundee razes it
NB 30th Street lane closed
State Patrol, Omaha police conduct vehicle inspections
Bernie Kanger formally promoted to Omaha fire chief
< >
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
Breaking Brad: How many MECA board members can we put in a luxury suite?
As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
Kelly: Creighton's McDermotts put good faces on an Omaha tradition
A comical roast Wednesday night in Omaha brought fans of Creighton basketball laughter by the bucketful. This time it was McJokes, not McBuckets, that entertained the Bluejay crowd.
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Jessica Lutton Bedient was killed by a drunken driver at age 26 in 2010. Thursday, the widowed husband and other family members will gather with others at the University of Nebraska at Omaha to dedicate a permanent memorial to Jessica.
Breaking Brad: How much would you pay for a corn dog?
The Arizona Diamondbacks have a new concession item: a $25 corn dog. For that kind of money, it should be stuffed with Bitcoin.
Deadline Deal thumbnail
The Jaipur in Rockbrook Village
Half Off Fine Indian Cuisine & Drinks! $15 for Dinner, or $7 for Lunch
Buy Now
< >
Omaha World-Herald Contests
Enter for a chance to win great prizes.
OWH Store: Buy photos, books and articles
Buy photos, books and articles
Travel Snaps Photo
Going on Vacation? Take the Omaha World-Herald with you and you could the next Travel Snaps winner.
Click here to donate to Goodfellows
The 2011 Goodfellows fund drive provided holiday meals to nearly 5,000 families and their children, and raised more than $500,000 to help families in crisis year round.
Want to get World-Herald stories sent directly to your home or work computer? Sign up for's News Alerts and you will receive e-mails with the day's top stories.
Can't find what you need? Click here for site map »