Breaking Brad: In which the Lakers tell Metta to 'peace out' - Omaha.com
Published Friday, July 12, 2013 at 12:51 pm / Updated at 1:13 pm
Breaking Brad: In which the Lakers tell Metta to 'peace out'

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here for Brad's morning jokes.

* The new movie "Grown Ups 2: What's The Point Again?" opened Thursday evening.

* A critic for USA Today wrote that "Grown Ups 2" is "lowbrow, laugh-free [and] plotless." Other than that, she enjoyed it.

* The reviews for "Grown Ups 2" have not been kind. I've read warmer manifestos.

* Gas prices are spiking. In Douglas County, gasoline prices are going up almost as fast as property taxes.

* Edward Snowden claims Skype gave customer information to the government. This means that birthday video chat you had with your sister in Florida, where you both donned the party hats and blew into noisemakers, could be in the hands of the feds.

* In Florida, a search is under way for a supposed "skunk ape." Apparently the skunk ape is a registered voter and has served on three Florida juries.

* The skunk ape is either real or a misidentified person. I tell you, if photos of a human have been splashed all over the news and identified as a "skunk ape," someone is going to be owed one big apology.

* If the skunk ape turns out to be human, sounds like somebody needs to shave his back hair.

* AT&T has angered customers with its new 61-cent "mobility administrative fee." OPPD executives told AT&T: "You're good. Really good."

* The Douglas County Board of Commissioners asked, "Any way we can charge taxpayers some sort of mobility fee?"

* On Thursday, Bo Pelini threw out the first pitch before a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field. This means that Bob Gibson now has only the second most menacing stare of anyone to ever take the mound.

* Because it's Pelini, everyone was bracing for the first "ceremonial pitch brush-back."

* UFO sightings have doubled over Canada. Imagine beings from another world landing outdoors in Canada during the Stanley Cup Finals and reporting to the mother planet that Earth is uninhabited?

* The Lakers have released Metta World Peace via the amnesty clause. If The World-Herald headline writers haven't come up with anything suitable for Saturday's paper, I'd like to suggest "Peace Out."

Also from Brad: This weekend only, a 'birdie tax' in Douglas County

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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