Breaking Brad: Does Justin Bieber have more than one song? -
Published Tuesday, July 9, 2013 at 9:29 am / Updated at 10:25 am
Breaking Brad: Does Justin Bieber have more than one song?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* It looks like Douglas County property taxes may increase. I thought that was impossible?

* There is a "heat advisory" for Omaha on Tuesday afternoon. I'd like to welcome the out-of-town visitors who just arrived for the U.S. Senior Open and made it almost five feet from the plane before being hit with the first weather advisory.

* In the course of the next few days, you should brace yourself for approximately 25 more weather advisories, alerts, watches and warnings.

* Four wallabies that escaped from their enclosure at a Des Moines zoo were re-captured. I can just picture a first-time visitor to town seeing four wallabies running down the street and going: "They weren't kidding when they said Des Moines is different from the rest of Iowa."

* Imagine if they'd escaped from the zoo? Some would see wallabies racing through Des Moines in July and assume it was a preview of this year's new menu item at the Iowa State Fair: Wallaby on a Stick.

* A quick message for the parents in the audience at Justin Bieber's Omaha concert Saturday night because apparently there is some confusion: Bieber did not sing the same song 23 times. It just seemed like it.

* At the concert, Justin Bieber appeared to be trying to appeal to his "older fans" -- the 9-year-olds.

* Lincoln has approved its first downtown entertainment district. I can remember not too long ago when downtown Lincoln on a Saturday night was classified as a wilderness preserve.

* Douglas County has a new seal. With our budget woes, it's Des Moines' old seal with "Des Moines" crossed out and "Omaha" penciled in.

* Dennis Rodman appears on the cover of Sports Illustrated's "Where Are They Now?" issue. This is not good. It means future U.S.-North Korean peace talks could fall through due to the S.I. cover jinx.

* A new planet was recently discovered. A desperate Edward Snowden applied for asylum there.

* Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro offered asylum to Edward Snowden right before a huge military parade began. This may give Snowden pause. It wasn't a holiday -- the huge military parades are every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

* President Obama has nominated James Comey for FBI Director. This comes after senior aides convinced the celebrity-obsessed Obama it'd be a bad idea to nominate the lead character from "Hawaii Five-O."

* A petition to the White House asks that Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A." be our new national anthem. If somehow this happens, I plan to join Edward Snowden in seeking asylum in Bolivia.

* According to a Gallup poll, seven percent of Americans get their news from the occasionally fact-challenged CNN. It's easy to spot people who get their news from CNN. They're the ones buzzing this week about the recent coup in Canada.

Want more laughs? Scroll through Brad's author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Sarah Palin, Mike Lee coming to Nebraska for Ben Sasse rally
Prescription drug drop-off is April 26
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Rather than doing $250K in repairs, owner who lives in lot behind 94-year-old house in Dundee razes it
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
PAC funded by Senate candidate Ben Sasse's great-uncle releases Shane Osborn attack ad
Teen killed at Gallagher Park was shot in head as he sat in SUV, friend who was wounded says
NB 30th Street lane closed
State Patrol, Omaha police conduct vehicle inspections
After all his bluster and bravado in the courtroom, Nikko Jenkins found guilty of 4 murders
A recap of what got done — and what didn't — in the 2014 legislative session
Bernie Kanger formally promoted to Omaha fire chief
U.S. House incumbents have deeper pockets than their challengers
Nancy's Almanac, April 17, 2014: Trees save money
Ex-Iowan behind landmark free speech case recounts story in Bellevue
Gov. Heineman signs water bill; sponsor calls it 'landmark legislation'
New UNO center strengthens ties between campus, community
Senate candidate Shane Osborn to include anti-tax activist Norquist in telephone town hall
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Gov. Heineman calls 2014 a 'very good year for Nebraska taxpayers'
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
Attorney: Man accused of trying to open plane's door needs psychiatric evaluation
49-year-old sentenced to 40-50 years for attempted sex assault of child
Brothers looking for pot sentenced for violent home invasion
At Boys Town panel, experts stress it's never too early to educate children
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Breaking Brad: How many MECA board members can we put in a luxury suite?
As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
Kelly: Creighton's McDermotts put good faces on an Omaha tradition
A comical roast Wednesday night in Omaha brought fans of Creighton basketball laughter by the bucketful. This time it was McJokes, not McBuckets, that entertained the Bluejay crowd.
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Jessica Lutton Bedient was killed by a drunken driver at age 26 in 2010. Thursday, the widowed husband and other family members will gather with others at the University of Nebraska at Omaha to dedicate a permanent memorial to Jessica.
Breaking Brad: How much would you pay for a corn dog?
The Arizona Diamondbacks have a new concession item: a $25 corn dog. For that kind of money, it should be stuffed with Bitcoin.
Breaking Brad: Pothole repair crew gets stuck in a pothole
In East Lansing, Mich., a pothole repair crew got stuck inside a pothole. How did this not happen in Omaha?
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