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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Friday's Bank of the West Celebrates America concert features Pat Benatar. For the opening act, Mayor Jean Stothert and Fire Chief Mike McDonnell will arm-wrestle.
* I read for the Memorial Park concert that "parking will be available at UNO." Hah, good one!
* In addition to Benatar, Loverboy will also take the stage. My question: In good conscious, can Loverboy sing "Working for the Weekend" in a place where it rains every Saturday and Sunday?
* Because it's Benatar and Loverboy, there are a lot of rockers in Memorial Park. I don't mean people who love rock music -- I'm referring to folks seated on rocking chairs.
* Beginning at 5 a.m., concertgoers could stake out their spots at Memorial Park. If you'd like to know how that typically goes down, Google "Running of the Bulls video."
* Omaha fireworks are going to be more controlled than in years past. This year, you're only allowed to shoot them off 23.5 hours per day.
* Saudi Arabia voted to move its weekend to Friday and Saturday. At this point, I'm beginning to think the only way to keep it from raining every weekend in Omaha is to move ours to Wednesday and Thursday.
* Paula Deen's soon-to-be-released book is No. 1 on Amazon. Let me explain to people visiting from foreign countries how this works: In the U.S., we punish people caught in scandals by making them best-selling authors.
* A Super PAC wants Hillary Clinton to run for president in 2016. Somehow, this Super PAC has to convince a Clinton to seek power. "Would you be interested..." "OK, I'll do it! You twisted my arm, darn it."
* In an article about President Obama's trip to Africa, Yahoo! News referred to Kenya as 'the country of Obama's birth.' New Yahoo! News blogger Donald Trump has yet to issue a retraction.
* A new movie called "White House Down" opens Friday. I saw a clip. At first, I thought it was a news report on Republicans taking advantage of Obama's being out of the country and storming the White House to gain control.
* President Obama took his economic team with him to Africa. The bad news? He's bringing them back.
* Now, conventional wisdom in Congress holds that -- wait, my mistake, there is no conventional wisdom in Congress.
* The U.S. has a new strategy to find NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden. We're going to tell the student loan people he's two days late with a payment -- we should have him by sundown.
* Snowden has been stuck in a Russian airport for five days. It's unclear if this is for political reasons, or if he's waiting for an American Airlines flight.