Breaking Brad: Twinkies are back, Paula Deen's long gone - Omaha.com
Published Tuesday, June 25, 2013 at 1:13 pm / Updated at 3:27 pm
Breaking Brad: Twinkies are back, Paula Deen's long gone

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* The George Zimmerman trial kicked off with one lawyer spouting obscenities and the other telling a knock-knock joke. That makes no sense until you remember that the trial is in Florida.

* MSNBC apologized for a major gaffe. Gotta give the executives props for apologizing. Because it happened on MSNBC, there's a good chance nobody would have noticed.

* Supposedly Edward Snowden, who already flew from the U.S. to Hong Kong and then to Russia, is now flying to Cuba, Venezuela and then Ecuador. Note to Snowden: Being a flight risk doesn't mean you have to be on every flight.

* Reportedly, Snowden is safe and happy. This means Russia may never let him leave. Sure, they finally found someone in their country who's happy.

* The U.S. revoked Snowden's passport. That will teach him ... after he's flown to half the countries in the world.

* "Star Wars" creator George Lucas got married over the weekend. I know this because of the approximately 7,239 newspaper and blog headlines that read "May The Force Be With You."

* The CliffsNotes version of junk food news: Twinkies are back and Paula Deen is out.

* The victory parade for the Miami Heat traveled 5 mph. Because it's South Florida, it was in the fast lane.

* Brian Urlacher is retiring after 13 years with the Chicago Bears. Experts say, in another five years, Urlacher should stop hearing Jay Cutler whining in his sleep.

* Miami Marlins player Jose Fernandez caught a bird in his hand on the field. As an endangered species, it was tagged and released into the -- wait, my mistake, that was a Miami Marlins fan.

* Wimbledon began on Monday. Because Venus Williams isn't entered this year, we'll know immediately if we see someone without pants on Centre Court that it's Prince Harry.

Breaking Brad: In which OPPD does everything in its power ... to raise rates!

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
Police: Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs
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Omaha police arrest man, 19, accused in March shooting
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