Breaking Brad: Twinkies are back, Paula Deen's long gone -
Published Tuesday, June 25, 2013 at 1:13 pm / Updated at 3:27 pm
Breaking Brad: Twinkies are back, Paula Deen's long gone

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* The George Zimmerman trial kicked off with one lawyer spouting obscenities and the other telling a knock-knock joke. That makes no sense until you remember that the trial is in Florida.

* MSNBC apologized for a major gaffe. Gotta give the executives props for apologizing. Because it happened on MSNBC, there's a good chance nobody would have noticed.

* Supposedly Edward Snowden, who already flew from the U.S. to Hong Kong and then to Russia, is now flying to Cuba, Venezuela and then Ecuador. Note to Snowden: Being a flight risk doesn't mean you have to be on every flight.

* Reportedly, Snowden is safe and happy. This means Russia may never let him leave. Sure, they finally found someone in their country who's happy.

* The U.S. revoked Snowden's passport. That will teach him ... after he's flown to half the countries in the world.

* "Star Wars" creator George Lucas got married over the weekend. I know this because of the approximately 7,239 newspaper and blog headlines that read "May The Force Be With You."

* The CliffsNotes version of junk food news: Twinkies are back and Paula Deen is out.

* The victory parade for the Miami Heat traveled 5 mph. Because it's South Florida, it was in the fast lane.

* Brian Urlacher is retiring after 13 years with the Chicago Bears. Experts say, in another five years, Urlacher should stop hearing Jay Cutler whining in his sleep.

* Miami Marlins player Jose Fernandez caught a bird in his hand on the field. As an endangered species, it was tagged and released into the -- wait, my mistake, that was a Miami Marlins fan.

* Wimbledon began on Monday. Because Venus Williams isn't entered this year, we'll know immediately if we see someone without pants on Centre Court that it's Prince Harry.

Breaking Brad: In which OPPD does everything in its power ... to raise rates!

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Sioux City riverboat casino prepares to close, still hoping to be saved
Omaha high schoolers to help canvass for Heartland 2050
Mizzou alumni aim to attract veterinary students to Henry Doorly Zoo
Grant ensures that Sioux City can start building children's museum
Party looks to 'nudge' women into public office in Iowa
For birthday, Brownell-Talbot student opts to give, not get
Sole big donor to Beau McCoy says he expects nothing in return
Two taken to hospital after fire at Benson home
Grace: Pipe organ concert a tribute to couple's enduring love
Omaha-area jails and ERs new front line in battling mental illness
Convicted killer Nikko Jenkins might await his sentence in prison
Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
Civil rights hearing to consider voting policies in Midwest
Firefighters battle brush fire near Fontenelle Forest
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
It's a pursuit of pastel at Spring Lake Park's Easter egg hunt
Financial picture improving for city-owned Mid-America Center
No injuries after fire at midtown's old Mercer Mansion
29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
Police: Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs
Explosion near 29th, Woolworth damages vehicles
Omaha police arrest man, 19, accused in March shooting
Earth gets its day in the sun at Elmwood Park
Beau McCoy strikes Obama doll in TV ad; Democrats are not happy
Keystone XL pipeline backers blast 'political expediency' as foes hail ruling to delay decision
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Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
A World War II veteran from Omaha will return this week to Europe to commemorate a tragedy in the run-up to D-Day.
Dickson’s Week in Review, April 13-19
On Twitter some guy tweeted that the spring game isn’t taken as seriously as a regular-season contest. What was your first clue? When the head coach entered waving a cat aloft?
Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
The main speaker at today's Ivy Day celebration at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is a college president who grew up roping calves and earned her Ph.D. at the prestigious Oxford University in England.
Breaking Brad: Stuck in a claw machine? You get no Easter candy
I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
Breaking Brad: Mountain lion season's over, but the bunny's fair game!
Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
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