Breaking Brad: Sleepless Stothert still not accustomed to Fire Department band - Omaha.com
Published Wednesday, June 19, 2013 at 10:26 am / Updated at 10:51 am
Breaking Brad: Sleepless Stothert still not accustomed to Fire Department band

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* After one week in office, Mayor Jean Stothert admits she hasn't been getting a lot of sleep. It's not due to stress. It's mostly attributable to the Fire Department band holding practice in her driveway at 4 a.m.

* Omaha police are cracking down on ticket scalpers within a half-mile of TD Ameritrade Park. If you're selling something for three times face value within a half-mile of the stadium, it had better be an officially sanctioned NCAA souvenir CWS T-shirt.

* A new CWS menu item is called the Triple Play. It's three layers of Parmesan dough; a bottom layer of bratwurst melt with Thousand Island dressing; a middle layer of short ribs, cheese curds and orange pimento sour cream; a top layer of sweet potato tots and fried onions with dark gravy drizzled over the whole thing. Is Paula Deen now catering the CWS?

* I plan to tell 'em to hold the Thousand Island. I'm watching what I eat.

* At Fan Fest, I bought a Triple Play. Not to eat -- I'm using it to anchor my boat.

* There was a dogpile at TD Ameritrade Park. Not by a winning team celebrating victory -- no, the dogpile was a group of Omahans who realized there was a Chick-fil-A outside the stadium.

* This is exciting. Just before the Louisville-Oregon State game, I was able to get a parking spot adjacent to the stadium when three mosquitoes carried off a smart car.

* This is the time of year when local businesses tend to cater to CWS visitors, especially those big spenders from LSU. The Bohemian Café is serving gumbo, and an Old Market antique shop jettisoned its inventory in favor of LSU mascot heads.

* An LSU fan told The World-Herald: "We travel pretty well." The proof: there were six people left in Baton Rouge this week.

* A quick note to College World Series fans: FYI, going forward, there will be no more mud wrestling in the Gene Leahy Mall. The city has to be concerned with its image.

* "The Voice" has crowned a winner for its fourth season. Now the winners of the first three seasons have a fourth person to play Crazy Eights with in the park all day.

* President Obama taped an interview on PBS to discuss NSA leaks. This is Obama's most important TV interview since he went on "Real Housewives of Orange County" to detail his economic plan.

* I'm getting the feeling that NSA heads have been listening to a classic radio station. They just announced that the 92nd caller the agency spies on will get free tickets to the Motley Crue concert.

* WWE star Kane may run for U.S. Senate in Tennessee. That is ridiculous. Congress is so beneath a WWE star.

* If elected to Congress, Kane will have to adjust to being around more fakes than he encountered in wrestling.

* Donald Trump has spent $1 million exploring a run for president in 2016. This is not a good sign -- $950,000 of that money was spent searching for Hillary Clinton's birth certificate.

For more jokes from Brad, scroll through his author archive.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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