Breaking Brad: Sleepless Stothert still not accustomed to Fire Department band -
Published Wednesday, June 19, 2013 at 10:26 am / Updated at 10:51 am
Breaking Brad: Sleepless Stothert still not accustomed to Fire Department band

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* After one week in office, Mayor Jean Stothert admits she hasn't been getting a lot of sleep. It's not due to stress. It's mostly attributable to the Fire Department band holding practice in her driveway at 4 a.m.

* Omaha police are cracking down on ticket scalpers within a half-mile of TD Ameritrade Park. If you're selling something for three times face value within a half-mile of the stadium, it had better be an officially sanctioned NCAA souvenir CWS T-shirt.

* A new CWS menu item is called the Triple Play. It's three layers of Parmesan dough; a bottom layer of bratwurst melt with Thousand Island dressing; a middle layer of short ribs, cheese curds and orange pimento sour cream; a top layer of sweet potato tots and fried onions with dark gravy drizzled over the whole thing. Is Paula Deen now catering the CWS?

* I plan to tell 'em to hold the Thousand Island. I'm watching what I eat.

* At Fan Fest, I bought a Triple Play. Not to eat -- I'm using it to anchor my boat.

* There was a dogpile at TD Ameritrade Park. Not by a winning team celebrating victory -- no, the dogpile was a group of Omahans who realized there was a Chick-fil-A outside the stadium.

* This is exciting. Just before the Louisville-Oregon State game, I was able to get a parking spot adjacent to the stadium when three mosquitoes carried off a smart car.

* This is the time of year when local businesses tend to cater to CWS visitors, especially those big spenders from LSU. The Bohemian Café is serving gumbo, and an Old Market antique shop jettisoned its inventory in favor of LSU mascot heads.

* An LSU fan told The World-Herald: "We travel pretty well." The proof: there were six people left in Baton Rouge this week.

* A quick note to College World Series fans: FYI, going forward, there will be no more mud wrestling in the Gene Leahy Mall. The city has to be concerned with its image.

* "The Voice" has crowned a winner for its fourth season. Now the winners of the first three seasons have a fourth person to play Crazy Eights with in the park all day.

* President Obama taped an interview on PBS to discuss NSA leaks. This is Obama's most important TV interview since he went on "Real Housewives of Orange County" to detail his economic plan.

* I'm getting the feeling that NSA heads have been listening to a classic radio station. They just announced that the 92nd caller the agency spies on will get free tickets to the Motley Crue concert.

* WWE star Kane may run for U.S. Senate in Tennessee. That is ridiculous. Congress is so beneath a WWE star.

* If elected to Congress, Kane will have to adjust to being around more fakes than he encountered in wrestling.

* Donald Trump has spent $1 million exploring a run for president in 2016. This is not a good sign -- $950,000 of that money was spent searching for Hillary Clinton's birth certificate.

For more jokes from Brad, scroll through his author archive.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Man, 21, shot in ankle while walking near 30th, W Streets
Teenager arrested after woman's purse is snatched outside Omaha store
Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs, police say
Keystone XL pipeline backers blast ‘political expediency’ as foes hail ruling to delay decision
Dems criticize governor hopeful Beau McCoy's ad in which he strikes a Barack Obama doll
Omahan charged in fatal shooting in Benson neighborhood
Friday's attendance dips at Millard West after bathroom threat
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
Crack ring's leaders join others in prison as a result of Operation Purple Haze
High court denies death row appeal of cult leader convicted of murder
Haze in area comes from Kansas, Oklahoma
Man taken into custody in domestic dispute
Omaha judge reprimanded for intervening in peer attorney's DUI case
Intoxicated man with pellet gun climbs billboard's scaffold; is arrested
Police seek public's help in finding an armed man
Saturday forecast opens window for gardening; Easter egg hunts look iffy on Sunday
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Last day of 2014 Legislature: Praise, passage of a last few bills and more on mountain lions
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
A voice of experience: Ex-gang member helps lead fight against Omaha violence
Church is pressing its case for old Temple Israel site
OPPD board holding public forum, open house May 7
The thrill of the skill: Omaha hosts statewide contest for students of the trades
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Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
The main speaker at today's Ivy Day celebration at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is a college president who grew up roping calves and earned her Ph.D. at the prestigious Oxford University in England.
Breaking Brad: Stuck in a claw machine? You get no Easter candy
I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
Breaking Brad: Mountain lion season's over, but the bunny's fair game!
Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
Breaking Brad: How many MECA board members can we put in a luxury suite?
As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
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