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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* This weekend, Omahans are expected to flock to see a new Komodo dragon at the Henry Doorly Zoo and Aquarium. This will be sort of like the mayoral primary, only with a greater percentage turnout.
* A Komodo dragon can eat 80 percent of its body weight in one meal. You know what we call something like that in America? "Buffet diner."
* The Beach Boys perform at River’s Edge Park in Council Bluffs on Saturday. I wouldn’t say the Beach Boys are getting up there, but Friday night, two members will star in an Omaha Community Playhouse production of "On Golden Pond."
* If you’re referring to the event in River’s Edge Park as "the John Stamos concert," there’s a good chance you’re into the '80s a little too much.
* On June 10, Jean Stothert will be sworn into office as Omaha’s 51st mayor. To put that in perspective, it takes two years to go through 51 Omaha police chiefs.
* Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel is defending his budget. Hagel is a former Omaha talk radio host, so let’s hope he doesn’t revert to the old ways. "Secretary Hagel, about your budget ..." "Do you have a point?" "Well, yes, I’m about to ..." "Next!"
* According to a new CDC study, there is often a surprising amount of human waste in swimming pools. I believe that line to get into the public pool on Memorial Day Weekend just got a lot shorter.
* The Indianapolis 500 is Sunday. If the race was in Omaha, the drivers would carpool to save on gas.
* Driver Buddy Lazier’s car in the Indianapolis 500 is co-owned by an Omahan. It achieved a qualifying speed of 223.442 mph. Because of the Omaha connection, that was on snow-covered streets.
* On Friday, President Obama gives the commencement address at the U.S. Naval Academy. While there, Obama plans to ask Navy officials if he can borrow a submarine to spy on Fox News reporters at the beach this summer.
* During a speech on drones Thursday, President Obama was heckled. Washington, D.C., is now like a comedy club, with the major differences being better ideas tend to come out of comedy clubs and Washington, D.C., gets more laughs.
* The woman who heckled Obama was immediately wrestled to the ground by six IRS auditors.
* Members of the U.S. Congress accused IRS officials of lying. Well, because they’re members of Congress, they don’t use the term lying -- they prefer 'campaigning.'
* According to a financial disclosure report, the president's assets are worth between $1.8 million and $6.8 million. Today, Obama called for raising taxes on those earning $6.9 million.
* Mitt Romney is building a new home in Utah and plans to split his time between three homes. That shows you how tough these economic times are -- the Romneys are down to three houses.