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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here for his morning jokes.
* According to a study at the University of Amsterdam, on average, human I.Q. has dropped 14 points since the Victorian Era. I blame Twitter.
* The New York Times criticized President Obama's administration over media surveillance. Here's the interesting thing: Obama knew about the criticism 12 hours before it was published.
* The White House will respond, as soon as it's done tracking Sean Hannity around Costco.
* In the Big Ten baseball tournament, Nebraska beat Michigan, 11-2. The game was such a rout it was dubbed the Urban Meyer Classic.
* Suri Cruise, 7, reported signed a deal for a $2.3-million clothing line. If you want to feel depressed on your 40th birthday, read this item again.
* Officials in New York City are warning about fish that can breathe outside of water called "Frankenfish." "Frankenfish" can breathe outside of water for four days and use their fins to crawl. I'll never complain about zebra mussels again.
* This could ruin New York City's image as a fresh, clean, wholesome tourist destination, just as soon as the first photo surfaces of a visitor from France being chased down Park Avenue by a fish.
* Remains of a creature that lived during the Ice Age have been found. In a related story, Aerosmith is back on tour!
* After three seasons, the Los Angeles Clippers will not retain head coach Vinny Del Negro. That's not unusual. When the cicadas returned after a 17-year absence, first thing they realized was they'd missed the last 11 Clippers coaches.
* Texas A&M is expanding its football stadium, Kyle Field, to host 102,500. At the present rate of growth, it is estimated that, by the year 2092, every square inch of Texas will be covered by football stadiums and steers.
* Someone paid $130.01 for a blood-stained baseball thrown by Chicago Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija after he'd cut his hand. All of a sudden, my Cookie Rojas bobblehead collection doesn't seem so stupid.