Breaking Brad: Mike Tyson back in the news, says he's a vegetarian - Omaha.com
Published Monday, May 13, 2013 at 12:01 am / Updated at 7:11 am
Breaking Brad: Mike Tyson back in the news, says he's a vegetarian

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.

* The heavy rock group Queens of the Stone Age has been added to the Stir Cove lineup. If you're familiar with Stir Cove, you know that Queens of the Stone Age is one of its more mellow acts.

* O.J. Simpson was in court Monday seeking a new trial. Since the Jodi Arias trial just ended, we need a new rule requiring five days between circus trials.

* Plans for "Jurassic Park 4" have been put on hold. Sure, with the Rolling Stones on tour it would seem redundant.

* For the first time in more than 120 years, there is a Dutch king. And even this guy's going: “Omaha has a bike czar?”

* In the 2011-12 fiscal year, University of Nebraska President J.B. Milliken was the 34th highest paid president of a public university with total compensation of $651,908. In Nebraska we show our commitment to education by paying the university president approximately one-fourth as much as our head football coach.

* A weekend footrace at Mahoney State Park featured mud, jumping over creeks and beer. I had no idea Mahoney had landed the Redneck Games.

* Prince Harry was in Colorado over the weekend. Smart move. This way, if he does anything dumb on his U.S. trip, it can be blamed on a contact high.

* Prince Harry's first stop after arriving in the U.S. was Capitol Hill. Sure, he's never seen people who work less than the royal family.

* A group of women were heard screaming as Prince Harry walked through the Capitol. I don't think that's happened since Mitch McConnell's last haircut.

* The White House press room was briefly evacuated on Saturday due to smoke. Apparently, a Fox News reporter spontaneously combusted after learning that the IRS targeted the Tea Party.

* The IRS targeted the Tea Party. You know what that means: Glenn Beck has a topic for his next 674 shows.

* If the IRS is targeting right wing groups hostile to the White House, the NRA may want to thinking about saving every single receipt.

* Dwyane Wade donned a floral number by Versace for a Miami Heat postgame press conference. You know a guy is secure in his masculinity when he chooses the same outfit that Charlize Theron wore to the Oscars.

* Ironically, Michelle Obama wore the exact same outfit to the state dinner with the president of South Korea.

* Mike Tyson said he's now vegetarian. He was spotting biting an ear of corn.

* The Los Angeles Angels, off to their worst start in franchise history, played a game against the Astros under protest. The Angels vs. the Astros – the only ones protesting should've been the fans.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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