Breaking Brad: Bigamist's 2 wives meet on Facebook - Omaha.com
Published Friday, April 26, 2013 at 1:30 pm / Updated at 2:17 pm
Breaking Brad: Bigamist's 2 wives meet on Facebook

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.

* The power was out at the State Capitol in Lincoln on Friday morning for maintenance. Right now, I'm having trouble deciding which of the 5,000 suitable metaphors for the Nebraska Legislature and the power being out that I'll go with.

* Friday morning, shortly before flying home on recess, the U.S. House of Representatives approved a plan to end the furlough of air traffic controllers. What are the odds of that...

* With 19 days left in an auction, the top bid to have coffee with Apple CEO Tim Cook is $180,000. Lunch with Warren Buffett sold for $3.5 million, coffee with Tim Cook is 180 grand. Yeah, that sounds about right.

* How about that NFL Draft? I wouldn't say there are a lot of large men bear-hugging the commissioner, but by the end of the first round, he was keeping them at bay with a taser.

* A bigamist was discovered when his two wives met on Facebook. I'm going to guess he listed his relationship status as “It's complicated.”

* Apparently wife No. 1's photo popped up on wife No. 2's page with the words: “People your husband may also be married to.”

* This is a pretty good argument for keeping your Facebook setting on private.

* The Cleveland Browns selected linebacker Barkevious Mingo in the first round of the NFL Draft. He's already having an impact. After less than 24 hours in the league, he's been selected as captain of the all-name team.

* For the first time in 49 years, a running back was not selected in the first round of the NFL Draft. Right now all around the country, dads who haven't even had the birds-and-bees talk with their young sons are extolling the virtues of playing offensive line.

* “I know you enjoy running with the ball, Camden, but pulling guard and tackle is where the money's at.”

* Scientists say they are on the verge of being able to bring extinct things back to life. This may represent the UFL's best chance.

* A Bulls fan is suing Derrick Rose, claiming Rose's missing the entire season caused the fan to get depressed, which led to the fan becoming fat. If disappointment led to sports fans in Chicago putting on weight, Wrigley Field would have a capacity of nine.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Man's body found near North 36th, Seward Streets
Firefighters take on 'fully engulfed barn fire'
Omaha area may get 1 inch of rain tonight
Gov. Heineman vetoes bill to ease restrictions on nurse practitioners
Nebraska banking and finance director to retire
SB 132nd Street lane closed
Waitress who served alcohol to teen before fatal crash gets jail time, probation
Owners of exotic dance bar deny prostitution allegations
More Nebraskans are electing to vote early
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
Shane Osborn grabs slew of Senate endorsements
A day after Ricketts endorsement, Ted Cruz backs Sasse for Senate
TD Ameritrade says profit up 35 percent in second quarter
Some city streets remain closed
Nebraska's U.S. Senate candidates stick to familiar topics at Omaha forum
19-year-old killed in one-vehicle crash at 72nd & Shirley
8% of alcohol sellers checked in Omaha area last week sold booze to minors
OPS bus, SUV collide; no students onboard at the time
Lori Jenkins, charged as accessory in 4 murders, waives speedy trial
Iowa State servers hacked, nearly 30,000 SSNs at risk
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
2nd District House race: After 8 terms, Lee Terry knows how D.C. works — and doesn't
Bellevue man is killed at Minnesota dance hall after South Sudanese basketball tourney
Spring corn planting still sputters in Nebraska, Iowa, other key states
U.S. Senate race: State Auditor Mike Foley defends Shane Osborn against ad campaign
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COLUMNISTS »
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
The idea that Paul Hogan had studied and then hatched at his mother's table was that older people, rather than moving in with relatives or to an assisted-living center, would much prefer to stay home instead.
Breaking Brad: Into the claw machine! Florida kid follows Lincoln kid's lead
In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., a child climbed inside a claw machine. Hey, Florida kid: Nobody likes a copycat.
Breaking Brad: Even Chuck Hassebrook's throwing mud!
The Nebraska campaigns have turned so ugly, Democrat Chuck Hassebrook lobbed unfounded accusations at an imaginary opponent.
Breaking Brad: Kraft wiener recall is business opportunity for TD Ameritrade Park
Instead of returning the wieners, TD Ameritrade Park is calling them "cheese dogs" and charging double.
Breaking Brad: Photos with the Easter Bunny are so 2010
In a sign of the times, most kids ran out of patience waiting for a photo with the Easter Bunny at the mall, just snapped a selfie and went home.
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