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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Snow is in the local forecast. On April 17. The National Weather Service has started naming winter storms. I believe this is winter storm What The @#%&?
* We may have snow in mid-April. It’s as if Mother Nature looked down and said: “No Jim Flowers doing the weather in Omaha? Well, I’ll show you.”
* I have a new definition of what constitutes fine weather in Omaha. Any time I find fewer than three brochures from catastrophic storm adjusters in my mailbox, it’s a good weather day.
* During Wednesday morning’s downpour, some people in west Omaha whose skylights were blown out in last week’s hail storm had to hold tarps over the holes where their skylights were. I’m guessing photos of this won’t make the Chamber of Commerce's next 'The Good Life' brochure.
* A Jean Stothert poll has her leading Mayor Jim Suttle by eight points. The poll included 300 people and had a plus-or-minus margin of error of 5.8 percentage points, so it is slightly less accurate than consulting a Ouija board.
* The Stothert poll included 300 likely voters. It’s shocking. Based on the primary, I had no idea there were 300 likely voters in Omaha.
* A plus-or-minus margin of 5.8 with a poll of 300 people? What was this, the inaugural Dick Morris/Karl Rove poll?
* A Eugene, Ore., man claims he was seduced by his I.R.S. auditor. They weren’t kidding about a friendlier, less heavy-handed I.R.S.
* A new White House website shows how our tax money is spent. Please. It’s depressing enough having to pay taxes this week without logging on to learn that I spent 10 months working to buy a new valve for a Pentagon toilet.
* On Sunday, Jenna Bush-Hager gave birth to George W. Bush’s first grandchild. Because the baby is a Bush, 35 years from Sunday, the child will declare her candidacy for president of the United States.
* A former White House adviser claims that President Obama reads only one publication per day -- The New York Times. I am stunned. Mainly that the one publication isn’t TV Guide.
* The White House is denying Jay-Z’s assertion that he and Beyonce had permission to travel to Cuba. What chance is there of President Obama achieving an accord with Kim Jong-un when he can’t reach agreement with Jay-Z?
* It Is reported that Beyonce and Adele will perform at Michelle Obama’s 50th birthday party in January. Unless the sequester cuts are still in effect, in which case the party will feature Ziggy Zoot and His Trained Parrots.
* Michelle Obama’s 50th birthday will reportedly be “celebrity packed.” Figuring out how to make it more celebrity packed than every other day will be the greatest challenge of President Obama’s presidency.
* Former U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner is attempting a political comeback. He was on TV the other day, but I didn’t recognize him because he was wearing pants.
* American Airlines canceled more than a thousand flights on Tuesday due to computer problems. Did you hear American’s new slogan? “The Carnival Cruise lines of the sky.”
* A man is walking around the entire world. He’s not trying to set a record. He has a ticket to fly on American Airlines but walking is faster.